I grew up with family members doing drugs going in and out of rehab. I had older brothers (who I looked up to) fighting each other and going to jail. My parents seemed to only want to be in each other’s lives to support their vices – gambling, smoking, and drinking.
I’m not telling you this seeking empathy or sympathy; I simply want to put into context what I was surrounded by my entire life growing up. Luckily, I played all the sports. I had no idea at the time how impactful my time with sports was, simply because it removed me from the toxic environment at home. By the time I was in Jr. High, I wouldn’t get home until 6:00 or 7:00 at night, and over the weekends I was always outside playing sports or doing other activities.
I looked up to my older brothers as a kid. My oldest brother is 13 years older than me, and my second brother is 6 years older, so as a kid they were superheroes to me. There are pictures of me as a four-year-old wearing my oldest brothers high school football helmet. I used to clean his helmet for him after all his football games, which I thought was the coolest thing. My other brother Matt was very strong and put on a ton of muscle when he was in high school, and by that time I was old enough to notice.
All these factors inspired me to start strength training from a young age. By eleven I would finish up hours at the YMCA with 20 minutes of strength training. I wanted to be big and strong like my brothers.
As I got into high school, I spent more and more time away from home with sports and training, at which time things with my family started getting progressively worse. My parent’s relationship continued to regress and there always seemed to be problems at home with the someone in the family. All I wanted was for my family to be happy.
After high school my parents inevitably got divorced (after separating multiple times), and I went to college where I continued to play two sports. The divorce was the worst on my dad because he started losing control of his vices. This loss of control ultimately led to his death from stage four lung cancer in 2019. My dad always encouraged me to be a leader and to hustle, but outside of sports he was physically and emotionally absent.
As many of you can relate, watching your family deteriorate is a difficult thing. I tell my wife Kate all the time, I’m not quite sure how I made it out. The foundation was set for me to end up being an alcoholic, drug addict, gambling addict, or all the above. I know it was sports and training that gave me a chance, which brings me to my “why” behind all of this.
I know that people grow up in situations FAR worse than what I’ve experienced. Like I said, I am not looking for sympathy or empathy. What I do know from experience, is that removing yourself from a bad environment is more powerful than you think and can change the course of your life. Additionally, if you can insert yourself into a better environment in your free time or as often as you can, it only magnifies that impact.
I know what it’s like to grow up with an unhappy, chaotic family life, and fitness is important to me because I know you can use it as an avenue to remove yourself from a toxic, negative environment, and insert yourself into a positive one, ultimately changing the course of your life.
I want you to know you do not have to stay where you are. You do not have to continue being unhappy and miserable. It’s also important to know that you cannot force the people around you to change. What you can do is change your environment and start working on yourself and hopefully those you care about most will take notice and start doing the same.
I’ve had to distance myself from toxic people in my life which has not been an easy thing to do because most of them are in my family. As hard as that has been, separating myself from a negative environment has given me a chance to be the person who I’m meant to become, and has given me the opportunity to help people who want to change their circumstances in life.
This stuff ain’t easy. The path out of this environment has had its share of ups and downs, and I’m sure there will be more to come. If you’re out there and you’re going through similar struggles or just want to be happy, hopefully my story can inspire you to start your journey. Like I said, it ain’t easy. But it’s led me to an amazing life and my why. I’m married to my beautiful wife, we have an amazing son Jaxson, our dog Banion, and own a house and a business together. My why: I want to change the course of my family’s name by providing stability and freedom through my consistent actions and habits. Considering where I started, I consider it to be a miracle to be where I am today, and I could not feel more grateful.
